The glam sham

I've come to an important realization. You may not believe it, but pay attention. 

Social media and reality are not the same thing.  

I know, I know. Take your time to recover from the shock. But really, how many times do we forget this, even though everyone talks about it? It's so easy to believe that we're the only ones who don't wake up in a room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking an Italian countryside, eat fluffy pancakes for breakfast (and yet the calories never affect us), and read under the cozy warm lights of the treehouse we're lounging in for some reason. In a fabulous outfit and perfect skin, obviously. 

Not so long ago, I had to glam up to shoot a music video. The hair and makeup lady expertly covered up my not so stray greys with a combination of mascara and eyeshadow, and put enough makeup on me to make me feel like I was on par with a lifestyle blogger. All I needed now was a mansion in every country and the inside of an interior design catalogue at my disposal. 

But soon enough, the shoot was over and the worst possible thing happened: I had to take off my war paint. With a fever coming on, the only thing I could do was wipe off the obvious stuff and pass out. When I woke up, I realized I forgot to remove my fake eyelashes. I had a flight to catch in a few hours and here I was: with a headache, a fever, and so much hairspray that my hair could be classified as a dangerous flammable object that would not be allowed to board.  Let me just say "lashes for days" is not something we should aspire to. 

On the plus side, I'm pleased to inform you that I've written to the International Olympic Committee and they plan to introduce a new extreme sport - opening your eyes when you haven't removed all your mascara.    

The next time you see a beautiful breakfast platter or a perfect hairdo, just remember – it’s all a lie, kids.