The perils of driving barefoot

Statistics* show that an alarming percentage of women have faced shoe-related mishaps while driving.

We should have seen this coming. High heels are not practical footwear. They’re designed for nothing but pain and danger (and unattainably fabulous Instagram posts). As a result, the poor women take off their shoes before driving, and end up facing terrible and unnecessary consequences. As a deeply concerned good citizen, I offer some helpful tips in making things a little less dangerous.

• Statistics = Two out of seven full-time SaPa women have arrived at their intended destinations with fewer than the required number of shoes at some point in their adult life. One came in with no shoes at all. Another, miraculously, came in with one shoe. We won’t pry. And we definitely won’t talk about whether or not I was one of these women.

Handy tips to prevent footwear-related dangers while driving:
1. Before leaving the house, check if you have both shoes on.
2. Again, one shoe is not very helpful. Check if there are two.
3. If I haven’t made it clear enough, forgetting one shoe will make you the subject of Cinderella jokes for the rest of your life.
4. If you have ignored all this advice and ended up with one shoe, don’t wait for Prince Charming. He may be handsome but boys have terrible taste in footwear. Go to the nearest shoe store and solve the problem yourself like the strong and independent woman you are. Don't buy another pair of heels.

Was this a rant about the terrible shoe designs women have to deal with? Was this about two women who were so busy planning their next coffee breaks that they forgot how many shoes they need? You may never know.